2017: You were a hell of a year

I can honestly say that 2017 was the most difficult year of my life. I survived the trauma of loss. So much loss. In 2017 I had to let go of a relationship of 13 years, a house that held 8 years of careful transformations, and a job I thought would launch me into my dreams. While many in our country were grappling with the term “gaslighting” in the political realm, I was navigating parallel experiences of it personally and professionally.

The strong, fierce woman who marched with millions in Washington D.C. on January 21 was forced to acknowledge her limitations, her deep hurt, her consuming anger, her new crippling anxiety, and disillusionment on nearly every level. 2017 brought me to my knees–and flat on my face–more than once.

However, I can’t help by recognize the wonderful humans who carried me through many dark moments.  I can’t help but stay curious about what the universe is trying to teach me. I am learning how to face the ugliest parts of myself and understand how to acknowledge them, forgive them, and work to make them less powerful. I’m learning how to belong to myself and enjoy my own company. And I’m proud that even in my pain, I still seek connection. In my anger, I still strive to show up authentically. In my anxiety and fear, I still leaned into what scared me the most. I wasn’t perfect at all–just persistent.

So as I reflect back on this year, I often think of this simple drawing that captures it so perfectly.

Drawing by Mari Andrew, posted on Instagram

And although I’ve been micro-blogging on multiple platforms throughout those crazy ups and downs, I finally feel ready to write and share again. I’m going to start with the words, images, ideas, and artists that helped navigate me through this year losing and finding, weeping and laughing, tumult and quiet acceptance.

Each post will be a list of inspirations from a specific platform or medium. I hope those following along will contribute because I’m actively compiling a “On Tap” list for 2018’s inspiration. Thanks for staying with me here while I gathered growth and inspiration to return. Shall we start with podcasts? They are so very 2017 after all 🙂

4 thoughts on “2017: You were a hell of a year

  1. This is beautiful. I know it can’t have been easy to write or live, but you have said so much so well here. The second and third paragraphs are honest and hopeful in a way that I want to reread them regularly to ground myself. Thank you for writing this.

    1. Jenn, I should have known a fellow blogger would be intentional to leave an encouraging comment. Thanks for reading and for always being a thoughtful, hopeful, sincere voice in my corner. Looking forward to the next time we can be in the same room to catch up and connect!

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