to forgive me.

Forgiveness?
Wasn’t on my mind

So focused on growing legs
strong enough to walk away
Looking down
Forcing shaking hands
To sew ragged skin into new lines
Navel-gazing survival
Patchwork grafts of another’s embrace
White pills for sunny days
hoping rainy days replenish
what grief extracted

If I can’t sew fast enough
to get out of bed
before the storm carries me

I might disappear

I wake up before the sun
to build arms
strong enough, long enough
to hold myself together

I talk to ghosts
without believing they exist
I hunt for joy
without expectation
so it surprises me
when it arrives

a good surprise is so rare

Forgiveness is
an incredible luxury
I hadn’t thought about
since you left